September 22. Self-justification.

Too quickly i too follow patterns of self-justification far from lamenting here i want to offer an analysis. “Are you enjoying the movie?” – “Yeah, uh, hey, i worked hard today and i, you know, when i take a break now i’ll be fit tomorrow and that is better for everybody and..” – “i asked: are you enjoying the movie?” – “i picked a movie i thought, well, uh, maybe you might like it too and it has almost finished so then you can watch it.” – “i asked: are you enjoying the movie? – “it’s good i think, and it educates as well, and it…” – “i asked: are you enjoying the damn movie?” This pattern is the symptom of an existential feeling of insecurity. When i chatter and tatter and weave this carpet of self-justification, at the very moment i am weaving it, it gets smudged with self-disgust.

One thought on “September 22. Self-justification.

  1. come on… I also have this tendancy….
    When somebody ask me: do you enjoy the concert last night? I said: um… the pianist didn't play many wrong notes, but I didn't feel many content in it, I mean the pianist didn't put many emotion into the music, I felt he was not devoting himself to music, but the conductor was passionate, and the orchestra was not too bad, but the interaction was not enough….blablablablablabla
    “Then, are you enjoy the concert last night?”
    I said, um…. I went to backstage after concert and met some friends and I had nice chat with them… um…. “Then, are you enjoy the concert last night?” I said, um…. I bought the signed CD in the concert, I listened it once I arrived home…..
    oh damn…. Am I enjoy the concert?

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