Another Lituanian truck driver takes me almost all the way through Poland, and I have dinner in a roadside restaurant that accepts visa. A group of friendly English-speaking Poles offers me a ride to Poznan. One of them has just come back from a ten day hike in Spitzbergen, of which he narrates with excitement. There’s something else! Tough terrain, guns for protection against polar bears are obligatory, at least eight hours a day walking. I smile and feel confronted with my own laziness, as you would call it. The guy also tells me about a 14-month Asia trip and I am aware again of this thing that hunts me: that I have never traveled.
I can persuate a Russian guy to take me with him to Berlin. He is on his way to Nürnberg and I am right about my idea that he could use some company. He tells me he has been laid off at some factory as a result of the financial crisis. He has been working as a technical controller or something. He also tells me he has met a girl in Moscow and asks me what I would do. Do you really want to know friendly man in your big German car? It depends on how much I am convinced of that love. I would move to Moscow to be with her. Here I take pride in saying such reckless things. Half the world is governed by the principle of love that doesn’t want to be consumed, couples that deem it wise not to live together, couples that let their career go first. It’s okay for me, but I value a harsh kind of honesty here. I would admit my human weakness and my wish to put something else above my love instead of telling stories about how impossible it is for love to conquer things. I mean, I think a lot of bullshit like I’m on speed, but this one i got right. I can’t stand the way people are bullshittin’ piles of reeking arguments of why something wouldn’t work BUT they keep calling that something the thing they most desire. Because it’s convenient and they want to preserve face or somethin’. They refuse to openly treat their love as part of their knapsack of pragmata, their order of things, it is rather something that has absolute priority, a notion that is so abstract just because it is carefully kept out of the order of things, that it is not convertible and hence everything will do to make up an excuse to procrastinate following the voice of love. It is a convenient language game solution and I think every individual should critically address it in him- or herself. That is what I tell my driver. We get out at a gas station to have a cup of coffee just before the border. And then… German Autobahn! One hour I enjoy the Autobahn with him then I wish him good luck above all in love because compared to love controlling the way metal pins and shanks, wegs, stems, coils, rotors, levers, sockets are assembled is one big pile of bullshit.